{"id":9533,"date":"0202-04-15T13:00:00","date_gmt":"0202-04-15T11:36:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/serwisnaukowy.uw.edu.pl\/en\/?p=9533"},"modified":"2026-06-23T13:02:45","modified_gmt":"2026-06-23T11:02:45","slug":"from-praise-to-arrogance-can-parental-love-give-rise-to-a-narcissist","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/serwisnaukowy.uw.edu.pl\/en\/from-praise-to-arrogance-can-parental-love-give-rise-to-a-narcissist\/","title":{"rendered":"From praise to arrogance: Can parental love give rise to a narcissist?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
Self-help books are full of advice on \u201chow to live with a narcissist\u201d \u2013 how to recognize one in a relationship, protect yourself, or avoid one altogether. But we rarely stop to consider what life feels like from the narcissist\u2019s perspective. Narcissism, as a personality trait, is far more than simple vanity \u2013 it is a deeply rooted pattern of emotional and social functioning. So where does it come from?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Living with a narcissist \u2013 and with narcissism<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Prof. Marcin Zajenkowski from the Faculty of Psychology at the University of Warsaw studies how parents\u2019 inflated views of their children\u2019s intelligence may contribute to narcissism. His research is the first to identify three dimensions of narcissism in children: agentic, antagonistic, and neurotic. Earlier studies focused mainly on adults.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThe core of narcissism is excessive entitlement \u2013 that is, seeing oneself as uniquely privileged and deserving more than others. This applies to both adults and children. At the same time, other people are often seen as inferior,\u201d explains Prof. Zajenkowski.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The narcissism questionnaire: How do you measure something so elusive?<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
How do researchers measure narcissism in children? Around the age of eight, children begin comparing themselves to others and shaping their sense of self through those comparisons. That is also the stage when narcissistic traits can first be meaningfully assessed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
To do this, researchers developed a questionnaire that measures three dimensions of narcissism. It examines the grandiose <\/strong>dimension \u2013 the belief that one is exceptional; the antagonistic dimension \u2013 the sense of being superior to others; and the neurotic dimension, in which a person feels exceptional and entitled to more but cannot express those feelings openly, often leading to frustration.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Parental expectations and self-image<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
According to Prof. Zajenkowski, environmental influences play a key role in the development of narcissism.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNarcissism develops when parents see their children in an exaggerated way: \u2018My child is exceptional, and because of that, they deserve more than others.\u2019 Parents often see the child as especially intelligent or gifted, even when that does not reflect who the child really is,\u201d he explains.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Parents often project certain hopes and expectations onto their children, while the child tries to live up to that idealized image. But this is not always possible. When there is a gap between how parents see their child and who the child actually is, the child may struggle to recognize their own limitations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cIf parents only say, \u2018You\u2019re special, intelligent, outstanding,\u2019 the child may never learn to see their weaknesses. The parent creates a certain image of the child, and the child has little chance to develop a realistic sense of self. This is likely how narcissism develops \u2013 as a mask or as an attempt to meet expectations,\u201d adds the researcher.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Narcissism likes to be smart: On the desire for exceptionality<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Narcissism does not develop solely because parents generally overestimate their child. Researchers at the University of Warsaw wanted to take a closer look at one specific factor: beliefs about children\u2019s intelligence. They assume that an unrealistically positive view of a child\u2019s intelligence may contribute to the development of narcissistic traits. In this context, what role does the concept of intelligence play in this context?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cFor individuals with high levels of narcissism, this concept is particularly important. They want to view themselves as intelligent, even though there is no real link between narcissism and actual intelligence. We study this in children by asking questions such as, \u2018How smart do you think you are?\u2019 It turns out that children with stronger narcissistic traits see themselves as smarter than they really are \u2013 even as early as age eight,\u201d says Prof. Zajenkowski.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
At the same time, narcissism and intelligence are not directly connected. Studies involving adults show that people with stronger narcissistic traits are not necessarily more intelligent than others. Still, intelligence holds special value for narcissistic individuals because it is strongly associated with social status and success.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
For individuals with high levels of grandiose, or agentic, narcissism \u2013 marked by inflated self-esteem and a need for dominance \u2013 the belief in exceptional intelligence becomes especially important, helping them preserve a positive image of themselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\nNarcissism develops when parents view their children in an exaggerated way. Photo: ddmitrova\/Pixabay<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n
Mindful parenting instead of unrealistic expectations<\/strong><\/h3>\n\n\n\n
Although narcissism is often associated with arrogance and an inflated sense of self-worth, its origins are far more complex. When parents excessively idealize a child \u2013 especially by emphasizing intelligence and uniqueness \u2013 they may unintentionally encourage an unrealistic sense of self.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
This does not mean that praise itself is harmful. What matters is that praise reflects reality rather than parental expectations or projections. Recognizing how these beliefs shape a child\u2019s developing personality is an important step toward raising children with a healthy, grounded sense of self-worth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
![\"Narcissism](\"https:\/\/serwisnaukowy.uw.edu.pl\/en\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/06\/kid-1241817_1920-1024x767-1.jpg\")